For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you’ll know that I’ve been in the US for the past two weeks. I am in fact still feeling really jet-lagged which is on the whole a bit crap. I decided that although I took my laptop out there to do a few bits and bobs I wasn’t going to blog or Tweet. I failed on the Twitter front but haven’t blogged for ages, so by means of a gentle introduction back into it here’s some random US inspired thoughts, observations and images.

1) Mobile phones with massive aerials are very common in the US. They look a bit like our toy phones that are filled with sweets with those bendy little aerials. My guess was that it’s because coverage isn’t as dense as in the UK where we have a mobile phone mast rammed up anything that can take it without the local community kicking off.
2) There is no stigma attached to hip/belt mounted devices. Related to the above, I couldn’t get over the gadget belts sported by all sorts of people. Big racks of massive mobiles with floppy aerials in leatherette cases.
3) Stereotypes exist for a reason. Sorry guys but I saw so many incredibly fat people in the US and the whole place is geared around eating and driving. Well Florida is anyway. It really did amaze me, so much so I started a bit of a collection of fat people shots. I know. Really wrong but I couldn’t help myself. Here’s three generations of big asses looking at rays.

4) New York is very similar to London. Apart from the fact it smells different, there’s steam coming out of vents, the buildings are taller on the whole, the traffic lights swing and you can’t walk a block without getting hassled to buy something - mainly bus tour tickets.
5) The grid system is easy but a bit boring. I can see why US peeps think London is quaint with its little roads and streets. There isn’t really any of that in New York, only massive boulevards that give the impression of immense space and scale.
6) The Apple Store on Fifth Avenue really is amazing and it really is packed 24 hours a day. Bit of a mecca for me going to the Apple Store. When I got there, guess what, it was full of all the same stuff as in all the other stores. But that glass cube . . . it rocked.
7) Animals rock. Especially monkeys and killer whales called Shamu. He even has his own website. But, as Charlotte pointed out (and you can see in the image below) all the dorsal fins were bent over - a side effect of being in captivity. Left a bit of a sour taste.

8 ) Stuff is really cheap right now. The pound is spanking the dollar so the numerous malls and cheap factory outlet sites are rammed with people stocking up on Nike trainers, jeans and other stuff. Including me. I bought a pair of Nike SB Air Tre A.D.s that I tracked down in a shop in what felt like gangland. No-one else would get out the car.
9) Twitter really delivers when you’re in a different country. One day we were all starving and wanted to go and get a full-on American breakfast (see number 3 above). I tweeted and immediately got a response from Claudine at the Telegraph (@claudineb). We then headed to the Theater Row Diner and had an amazing breakfast, while I spent the whole meal explaining what Twitter was and how I’d found it.
10) For the second time now I saw a guy ‘pleasuring himself’ in public. It wasn’t good and left Charlotte and I feeling violated. And to make matters worse it was outside the Museum of Sex which I had taken a picture of seconds earlier AND we saw him flick ‘pleasure stuff’ off his hand and onto the phonebox. (The first time was in Soho in London by a tramp in his sleeping bag). Not good and sorry to present you with that image.

11) Going to Ground Zero is overwhelming and something you should definitely visit and pay your respects at. But for some reason I wasn’t as moved as I thought I would be. I think it’s because you see the massive US flag and you see people getting on with it and construction taking place and that stops you from reflecting 100% but instead makes you feel positive about the future. Don’t know what’s more to be said on that.
12) Britain just can’t seem to pull off a show/big thing like the US can. Disney, for all it’s cheese and tackiness, is amazing and the Magic Kingdom light show at night is insane. I think it’s down to the people. We just can’t be that false/enthusiastic/corporate/crazy/child-like/blinkered/professional (delete as appropriate). Think of Terminal 5, Millennium Dome, British Rail, Tate Modern crack etc.
Um, that’s it. I didn’t want to end on number 10 for obvious reasons and now don’t want 13 and more than that seems excessive. I’ll definitely be going back and thoroughly enjoyed my time in the US. In the meantime I feel I have a better understanding of US culture (well at least NY and FL) and an enhanced appreciation of the great things about London.